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Because our mission at Upstart Sports is to improve the quality of volunteer-parent coaching, who better to weigh in on the role of parents as life coaches, than John Wooden?
“I think parenting and coaching or teaching are the same thing. And they are the two most important professions in the world. Parents are coaches – the first coaches a child has. Too many parents expect the coaches and teachers at school to do what they are not doing at home. The parents must set the foundation early. It is often too late by the time a child goes to school.”
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By Brian Gotta, President of Upstart Sports
We get asked for this all the time, so we’ll post it for you here: If you’re coaching a competitive team where you’ll be making important decisions on playing time, batting order and defensive positions, your players’ parents can be the difference between this being an enjoyable season and one you’d rather forget. Use this letter to deal with parental expectations and help get your season off on the right foot. Save to your computer and then modify as needed. And while this is specifically written for baseball, it can be modified for other sports as well. And, if you’re looking for some great drills to run with young players, check out www.coachdeck.com. Dear (Team Name) Parents, Now that the season is upon us, I would like to address how we are going to allocate playing time. Per league rules, all players must bat in the batting order. Where each player bats will be determined mostly by your son’s performance statistically. In other words, if he gets on base, he’ll bat higher, if he isn’t getting on base, he’ll bat lower. Clearly there are other factors that come into play as well (such as speed, power, making contact vs. striking out, bunting ability), but again, I’ll be making out the hitting lineup based primarily on statistics. This means that a player batting last in our first game could be batting leadoff by the end of the year, and vice-versa. Fielding time and position is a little trickier, since there are no easy statistical measurements we can use. We plan on having a pretty good defensive team. The rule for playing time is that a player must play a minimum of six consecutive outs in the field, (two innings). Those can be all outfield, all infield, or a combination. Looking at this year’s team, I believe that in most games, everyone will get more than just the minimum two innings. There may be some games that six players play all six innings and six players each play three. There might be other games where four players play the whole game, and a couple players sit out one, a couple players sit out two, and a few players sit out three. Where a player plays, or how much playing time he gets will be determined solely by what I believe is best for the team. We are playing to win, and though winning is not the only thing it is about, everyone will not play every position and share playing time equally, unless that is what is best for the team. Regardless of where your son shakes out in the playing time or batting order mix, it is important that your communication to him be positive. If he hears you talking about what a bad deal he’s getting, or something similar, his attitude is going to suffer. And if his attitude suffers, there is nearly no chance that he’ll earn more playing time or time at a different position he likes better. Conversely, if he really is deserving of more playing time and I’m just missing it, if he keeps working hard, trying his best and bringing a positive attitude to the field, I’ll notice it. I can tell you that if a parent comes to me to complain about position, playing time, or batting order, then forever after that, if the player does move up or play more, you’ll have to wonder if it was something he earned himself, or if it was something that came as a result of your complaint. On the other hand, if everyone takes the attitude that “the cream will rise to the top,” and is patient, then you’ll know that everything your son gets is deserved. (The latter feels much better). Everyone will have their chances to show what they can do in the game. It is important that they are prepared for those opportunities, and make the most of them. When making decisions on playing time I look at the following four “A’s” in order of importance: Ability; Attitude; Attendance; and Age. What this means is that after a player’s ability is factored in, if there is a tie, I will give preference to a player with a good attitude, who hustles and works hard. I like players who are more concerned with the team’s welfare than with their own. If I still can’t break the tie, I’ll choose a player who has attended every game and practice over one with spotty attendance. And finally, if I need a fourth tie-breaker, I go with the older player over the younger player simply because the younger player will have more opportunities in Little League down the road. Even though the season has not yet begun, I can already tell we have a great group of kids. All 12 seem to “want it” have seemingly bought into the team, and have outstanding attitudes. I am counting on your support to reinforce the positives all season long. The coaches and I are having a blast with this group and we plan on making this year a season your players remember with fondness and pride. By Brian Gotta, President of Upstart Sports
Coaching a Tee Ball, Coach-Pitch or Machine-Pitch team? Your players’ parents will have instant confidence in you once they read this letter informing them what to expect. And while this is specifically written for baseball, it can be modified for other sports as well. Save to your computer and then modify as needed. And, if you’re looking for some great drills to run with young players, check out www.coachdeck.com. Dear (Team name) Parents, My name is (Coach’s name), and I will be coaching the (Team name) (Division, i.e. Tee Ball, Rookies, etc.) team this year. I am looking forward to a fun-filled season where the kids will learn and improve their skills as well as the values of teamwork, sportsmanship and fair play. My goal is to create a positive, supportive environment so that every player, regardless of ability, has a great experience. Since some of you are new to this, I have a lot of information I’d like to cover. This letter is lengthy, but please read it through. Punctuality and Attendance: Our practices will be held (day) afternoons from 5:00 – 6:00 PM. Our first practice is (day and date). Games are on Saturdays and could be played any time from 9:00 AM to 3:00 PM and will last approximately one hour. All practices and games will be held at (field name). Being on time is critical. Please try and arrive at games 30 minutes before game time so we have ample opportunity for a team meeting and warm-up. Be at each practice 5-10 minutes prior to start time. If a child will not be at a game or practice, please notify me. Equipment and Apparel: The league provides each player with a shirt and cap. Your player should also bring a glove (recommend 10 to 11 inches) and a water bottle. I’d like our players to wear white baseball pants, (available at any sporting goods store) and rubber cleats, (prefer baseball cleats but soccer cleats are OK if you already have them). If a player cannot wear baseball pants, then sweat pants would suffice, but please, no shorts or jeans. The league also provides the team with bats. If you would like your child to bring a bat, that is fine. However, if it is brought to a game or practice, it must be available for any player to use. Please label all items. Team Parent: I am looking for a Team Parent (or parents) to assist this season. Our Team Parent will be responsible for creating a snack schedule for the games and for sending out email reminders about practices and games. The Team Parent will also be responsible for coordinating our season-end party. This is not an extremely time-intensive job, but it is extremely important, and will help free me up to do a better job coaching. Assistant Coaches: If you are interested in helping out at practices and games, please come see me at our first practice, or send me an email. I believe in getting as many parents involved as possible and will probably be able to find something you can do to contribute. What we’ll work on: At practices and games, I will be working on a few things:
Expectations: The emphasis in this division is not on winning, (we don’t even keep score or keep track of outs), but on player development and having fun. My primary goal this season is the make sure every player wants to come back and play again next year. With that said, all players will play all positions and bat in various positions in the lineup. Your child may be the most skilled player on the team, or may be the least skilled. I plan to treat all players fairly and reward positive attitude, hustle and improvement over natural ability. And remember that the being best player in Tee Ball usually doesn’t mean automatically being the best player in high school, and vice-versa. Miscellaneous:
John Doe [email protected] (555) 555-1234 If you have any questions or suggestions, please let me know. Otherwise I look forward to meeting you all at our first practice! Sincerely, By Brian Gotta, President of Upstart Sports
In 2002, I was managing a baseball all-star team of 9 and 10 year-olds. We continued to win games, and this meant I had to continually come up with things to keep the players occupied during downtime in the dugout after we’d finished warm-ups, before taking the field. One of our favorite pastimes was my quizzing them on baseball statistics. “Who is the all-time stolen base leader?” “Who has the record for most doubles all-time?” It was a great way to acquaint the kids with names from the past and give them a sense of the history of the game they were playing. But I began to run out of records anyone really cared about. Back then, our city newspaper’s sports page used to run a daily quote made by a current athlete at the top of Page 2. On July 5th of that year, the following quote ran, next to a picture of then-Marlins player, Cliff Floyd: “I’m not the superstar I want to be yet,” Floyd said. “I’ve still got a lot of work to do.” At the time, he was coming off an all-star season where he’d batted .317, with 103 RBI and 31 homeruns. He was as good a candidate as anyone to have figured they’d “arrived”. But Floyd’s statement said everything about his drive, his tenacity and his character. I read that quote to my players the next day in the dugout. After we won our District championship, I gave them each a copy of the quote along with a picture of Cliff Floyd. For the remainder of what turned out to be a great all-star run, as we went on to win Section and finish 3rd in state, each game, a new player recited the quote. They all seemed to understand that it meant: “We’re good. But we can be better.” It’s nice when youth sports can teach lessons like this to kids. And it’s even better when professional athletes, who these kids look up to, can be role models and provide these lessons through their actions and their words. I don’t know a whole lot about Cliff Floyd. But I will always be a fan of his for the meaning he provided to my team that summer nine years ago. By Brian Gotta, President of Upstart Sports
I stumbled upon a Little League blog and began reading comments. The posts that were written were some of the most outrageous I’ve ever seen regarding a youth sports league. It is amazing that these parents believe that they could have the best interests of the children of this community at heart. This particular thread contained 127 posts. I’m copying some excerpts below. I’ve left out some of the most virulent and profane, but suffice it to say, nothing – including marriages – was left sacred. Accusations of theft and corruption were made about the League President. And, as often happens, most of the bitterness centered around who was picked for the All-star team: A sampling of comments, exactly as it they were posted. I’ve left out posters’ names and name of the league, for obvious reasons: Whos tired of the way its runned seem like its only certain people that gets the breaks or if you dont have money or family that knows somone theres kids are treated like nobodys. I have to agree with (name) and (name), It’s all about MONEY, who you are, where you work or who you know. And yeah I saw a team get beat several times last years because the coach played his son in the wrong spot, people told him what he was doing wrong but he didn’t care. This coach doesn’t care for the TEAM he is only concerned about his son, I guess he’ll be playing TWO of his sons in the wrong spot this year. Glad I’m done with (league). The thing that gets me is there is talk the all star team has already been picked and been on the field some, but I thought all stars was picked by players receiving votes (after season not two months ago), not who is who’s kid. I think the league needs some checking into around all star time. The problem is (not to offend anybody) yes there are some good players on the traveling team but some do not need to be there because of who their daddy’s are. That is the problem with the league most children do not get a fair shot because to many of the coaches are afraid to make somebody mad. Hint if you have to write a check to make sure your child plays a certain spot or team then your child may not need there. Most of all some of the parents on the traveling team need to stop bragging that is the all star team and realize first of all that can cause a league investigation about all star voting and also realize that yes the game can go on if their child isn’t playing. Well (Gary) I agree with some of what you are saying, but whats the problem…afraid your child wont make the all stars..! No (Steve) my child always makes the all stars. So before you jump you better think. By the way I don’t write a check for mine. However you must. At which point this poster replied something inappropriate for this forum. But that got things going: LOL (Gary)! Sounds like you hit the ” nail on the head”. lol Allstars will be posted tonight. NO (Gary) didn’t hit the nail on the head, my child can actually play ball. LOL you must be good at writing checks by now. Truth comes out tonight how much money is on the team and who gets reported. And now someone, presumably from a rival league, joins in and claims to have video a photos of this all-star team playing together before the teams were officially posted, a violation of Little League rules: All of this is good to know, (League) plays in our area and with this and the pics taken at (city) should be enough to protest your games in area tourament. Someday you people will learn to o things by the rules. And there was much more, including the crude and profane. Imagine being an 11 year-old kid who just wants to have fun playing recreational baseball in the midst of all of this. Little League, and youth sports in general, are supposed to be leadership programs, where youngster learn how to be better citizens; learn how to win at the game of life. What are the children in this community learning? And as sad as this is, what may be sadder is that we all know this disappointing portrait of parents is not an isolated example, but rather one that plays itself out to various degrees time and time again, in community after community. By Brian Gotta, President of Help Kids Play
A reader wrote in and asked my opinion on a very touchy subject. A dad sent an email describing a girls’ high school coach who exhibited angry, sarcastic and belittling behavior when coaching the team. The dad related that he’d spoken to this coach on numerous occasions, expressing his displeasure with the coach’s handling of the girls, and that other parents had as well. Each time, he said, the coach’s behavior improved temporarily, but he’d soon relapse into the same mean and negative personality. In the most recent incident, the dad reported that his daughter had come home in tears and ready to quit because she’d been unsure of what to do at practice and the coach had embarrassed her in front of all of the other players by showing his irritation and making them all stop what they were doing to listen to her question. The dad said he’d read my article on parents and playing time and would like some advice. What I wrote, (below) is not significantly different than what was written in the original article. What it comes down to is that sooner or later, kids will have to handle these types of situations on their own, and though this is not one of the pleasant aspects of life, perhaps the positive in being faced with a situation like this is that lessons that can be learned and applied in the future: Hi (name), Thank you for your note and for asking my opinion on this matter. This is a very tough and touchy subject and, unfortunately, I don’t have any magic solution for you. First, I’m obviously going to have to take it on faith that this person is acting as you say he is, which leads to several other questions. Does he seem to focus this behavior more on your daughter, or is he equally sarcastic and negative to all the girls? If it is just your daughter, there are different issues to deal with. If you would say the treatment is the same for everyone, then are all the parents upset, or do some believe he is a good coach? It appears that you and others are not afraid to stand up to him, (as many people would be since he controls playing-time), so has anyone gone to the Athletic Director with complaints? One parent complaining about the coach is probably not going to change anything, but if a substantial portion of the team voiced the same concerns, it is more likely the AD would believe it is a real problem. That is the only way I see this coach being replaced. Outside of having him removed, based on what you have said, I do not believe there is anything you can say or do to make him change. Therefore, the only other options I can see are quit the team, or deal with it. I know how hard it is having kids playing for coaches we don’t like. It is terrible. We want them to be happy in everything they do and this must tear at you. However, the silver lining could be the life-lessons your daughter could learn. All her life she will be in situations where she must deal with disagreeable people. Someday she may have a job where her boss is just like this coach, (I’ve been there). When that day comes, she won’t have you to talk to the boss to try to get him to be nicer…she’ll have to handle it herself. If her way of handling it is to quit, she’ll end up having to find a new job, and may like the new boss even less. I would see if there isn’t something she can to to improve her relationship with him such as working harder or being more of a team leader. Find out what he wants as a coach and do the best she can to give that to him. If she can’t improve her effort in any way, I’d recommend she takes the initiative to speak with him herself and address her concerns. It may be that he’d respect that more than hearing from her parents, and he might be more likely to think twice before belittling her the next time. And you’d be giving her an opportunity to learn a valuable skill in dealing with people that will benefit her the rest of her life. I hope this is helpful and that your daughter sticks it out. Again, I appreciate your taking the time to write in and ask my opinion. One of our readers, Dennis Hillyard, has written several terrific articles regarding coaching.
I am often asked which profession is similar to that of the soccer coach. Without hesitation I always reply a SCHOOL TEACHER‟ but with one very important difference. The teacher usually specializes in one or two subjects and where for example there are thirty students in the class then guaranteed that a fair percentage will NOT be interested in the particular topic (s). Accordingly, youngsters will always learn quicker when being taught something they enjoy. Children are required to attend school by law. They are NOT required to attend soccer training therefore the advantage and it is a tremendous advantage is that youngsters join a soccer club simply because they WANT to play soccer thus, the role of the coach Is that much easier. Unfortunately, with this advantage and even if the squad of youngsters are all extremely talented then it is not always a guarantee of success. Why? If we refer back to the teacher versus the soccer coach then the teachers role basically is to develop the individual students abilities whereas the soccer coach whilst requiring to do exactly the same than has the added responsibility to develop those individual skills within the framework of the team. At the same time it is ESSENTIAL that each child should retain there individual skills so that they are best utilized for both, the benefit of the player and the team. Contributed by Dennis Hillyard, FLMSL Head Coach By Brian Gotta, President of Upstart Sports
Local Leagues are starting tee-ball programs across the country, which means two things: A lot of parents who lack experience will be coaching a team for the first time, and a lot of kids will be learning the game from a lot of inexperienced coaches. If you’re coaching beginning baseball in non-competitive levels, the rules that apply are less complex, but not less important than in competitive levels. And in watching beginning-level managers and coaches in action, there are two glaring weaknesses I see. One is the lack of fundamental skills being taught. The other is the ignorance of or disregard for basic baseball rules. Teaching your players the basic rules they need to learn from the beginning, so that they will have a strong foundation in this regard in later years. I’ve actually had managers ask me why I thought it was so important to enforce rules when the kids were young and no score or standings were kept. The answer should be obvious. If players are subject to proper adherence of the rules when they are starting out, they will be better able to focus on skill development as they get older, instead of having to devote valuable practice time simply learning things they should have been taught at an early age. However, in situations when coaches/parents are also the umpires, sometimes their competitiveness clouds their better judgment. I witnessed examples of this in my league’s local rule in the lowest two levels, T-ball (six year-old players) and “Coach-pitch” (seven years old). Our league instituted a rule that in the case of a ball being hit to the outfield, all runners must stop as soon as it is retrieved and thrown back into the infield. This rule was put in place because we wanted kids to learn that when the ball is in the infield they need to stop running. Otherwise an aggressive player would never stop, knowing that at this level the chances are remote of someone being able to complete a successful throw, catch and tag to get him out. Having a player circle the bases on a pop fly that lands in short right field might be fun for the batter and his parents, but is it teaching anyone on the field good baseball? Yet invariably, I’ll watch a game where a coach at third base is waving runners around to home, his arm whiling like a windmill, even though the ball is clearly in the infield. I’m sure that often this coach is just a dad who is helping out and may not even be aware of the rule. But it is your job as Coach or Manager to make sure he is informed, and follows the guidelines. You may think it is fun for the players on your team to run home every time they touch third base, but it’s not fun for the other team whose coaches are following the rules, and it’s not teaching your players properly either. Enforcing the rules is the best way kids learn the sport. I’ve seen youth league games where a fielder makes a great play and throws it to first, and the first baseman catches it with his foot substantially off the base. The parent gallery is cheering wildly because of a rare, successful pick-up, throw and catch. Consequently, the parent on the field responsible umpiring calls the runner out. I believe everyone on the field would learn more in this case if the umpire would have called the runner safe, and then taken a moment to explain what happened to both teams. On the other side of the spectrum, I’ve also witnessed parent-coaches allow batters to stay on first base even though they were clearly out on the play. When the player begins sobbing uncontrollably and refuses to leave the base after being called out, some coaches elect to take the easy way out and just let him stay at first. But what does that teach player? And what about the fielders who successfully made the play – shouldn’t they be rewarded? We all know that leniency teaches nothing good, and that players learn more from their failures than from their successes. With all that said, there it is important to keep things in perspective. Kids in T-ball and Coach-pitch are just out there to have fun and learn a little baseball – in that order. Why wouldn't you want to design gloves for your travel or high school team? We know you'll love them. Let's get the ball rolling today!  Top-notch organizations need top-notch batting gloves. That's where we come in. Elevate your team to the next level by designing your own custom gloves here.  |
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January 2026
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