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By John Ellsworth
Athletes face many common challenges every day. It’s important for young athletes to develop an awareness of the challenges and how to best beat them. Here is a list of some common challenges:

1. Performance in practice is better than in performances. Something changes between practice and competition, but it’s difficult to put your finger on it.
2. Performance takes a hit when “others” are watching. When important people are watching you become aware of their presence, and lose focus. Faced with the worry about letting others down the focus is directed more toward not failing rather than a winning performance. This is similar to stage fright.
3. Doubt limits performance before and during games. Confidence is gained in practice when the pressure is low, but when a competitive performance requires execution something happens. Doubt sets in and the ability to get the job done disappears. This is called “practice self-confidence” versus “competitive self-confidence.
4. Fear of failure creates tension and performance suffers. Practice is free and without worry, however during games dear and anxiety paralyzes your execution. The dear and tightness comes from wanting to win so badly. Fear of failure or embarrassment causes the need to try too hard and worry too much about outcomes.
5. Loss of focus during critical times during a game. When the pressure is on too perform in critical “crunch time” situations attention gets lost. It’s the pressure to perform that causes a “lights out” mental game situation. The mind becomes congested and consequently difficult to clear the congestion and focus in the present.

10 Tips to Boost Confidence & Mental Toughness
1. Boosting Confidence
Confidence is the athlete’s best friend. It is the most important factor determining whether success is felt and internalized. The confidence or lack thereof will spill over into other aspects of your life. That is of course if you identify with your sport performance as a major element to yourself image. Confidence is a core mental game skill because of its importance and relationship to other mental skills. Confidence is the athlete’s belief in his or her ability to perform..
Factors that help athletes feel confident:

• Having a solid support system
• Attending practices where pressure is less intense.
• Performing well in practice
• Access to good coaches
• Access to good equipment
• Being in good physical condition

TIP: One of the best ways to BOOST confidence is by identifying beliefs, doubts, and expectations that undermine confidence. Beliefs like: “I am not talented enough.” Doubts like: “I can’t perform because I have not mastered the skill in practice.” An expectation: “I need to not give up any turn over’s in today’s game. Knowledge of these gives one the opportunity to practice positive thinking. Since you are aware of them you can then be proactive.
2. Coping with fear of failure.
Fear of failure is characterized by high expectations, a strong desire to succeed (not fail) and anxiety and tension. Fear of failure causes the athlete to worry too much and focus on end results, and about approval by teammates or peers. Fear is generally about:.

• Feeling embarrassed.
• Being reprimanded by a coach or peer.
• Wasted practice time on the wrong things.
• Not performing up to others expectations for you.

TIP: Fear of failure is rooted in social approval. Being accepted by the group causes the athlete to focus too much on what other people think. It’s important to be aware of your fears and the limited importance of others thoughts about your performance. It’s important that focus be placed on goals the athlete sets and the criteria for measuring success.
3. Identify self-limiting expectations
Expectations about performance cause athletes to focus on perfection and limited tolerance for making errors. Expectations can quickly torpedo confidence because the success target is always moving
Tip: Identify personal expectations or demands about performance that cause the loss of confidence and focus. It’s the constant judging against the unachievable levels of performance expectation that undermines success and joy.
4. Improve focus by dealing with distractions.
Concentration is important, but often the focus is set on a single issue that is the distraction. Example: “I simply cannot drop this pass” – wide receiver while on the offensive line before the ball is thrown. This is what is called a results-oriented focus. It’s best to remain focused in the moment, and let go of worrying about the results. Tell yourself, “One catch at a time,” or “One pass at a time.”
TIP: Focus on the process of the game, and not about the outcome. Decide ahead of time what thought or cue phrase that will keep you centered on catching the pass. For example; concentrate on executing the route pattern and seeing the pass into your hands.
5. Coping tools for setbacks.
When you expect too much of yourself it can be challenging to deal minor errors that are a natural part of sports. It’s important to take note of the expectations (write them down). Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Make a decision in advance on the number of mistakes you will allow yourself to make without judgment. It’s OK to not “make the shot” from time to time. No one can execute perfectly..
TIP: When you have an error or mistake it’s critical you move onto the next play or shot without judgment. Remind yourself to look ahead to the next shot, play, or period of play.
6. Have your own agenda.
Your participation or your performance is for you and not for anyone else. Understand why it is that you participate in sports:

• Is it for the joy of competition?
• Is it for the vigorous exercise and health benefits
• Is it for the reward of reaching a goal?
• Is it for the social aspect?

TIP: Tap into your reasons for participating in sports. Ask yourself, “why do I do this?” or “what is it that keeps me coming back for more?” Once you know the answers to these questions you will better understand your purpose for engaging in competitive sports.
7. Make sure you are having fun.
Everyone wants to win. Winning is exciting and gives one a sense of accomplishment. Above all make sure you are participating mostly for fun. Remind yourself once again why you are participating in the sport. If it is to please someone else you might be competing for the wrong reasons..
TIP: Fun and enjoyment is the seed that if cultivated develops motivation and desire. If you have allowed yourself to have fun, experience enjoyment, and the joy of being with friends or teammates you will most likely be free of unrealistic expectations for your performance.
8. Use positive self-talk and self-feedback.
It’s important to give yourself positive feedback. It’s easy to call out the critic and beat yourself up for making mistakes. However, I assure you that if you compliment yourself on the things you do well rather than chastising yourself for making mistakes you will perform at a higher level. It’s ok to identify areas needing improvement, but its far more important to give yourself five times as many positive compliments. By doing this you build character, self-confidence, and belief in yourself..
TIP: When your critic shows up try to park it. Ask yourself: What can I say after a game to help myself grow more confident? Don’t dwell on this mistakes or errors, focus more on the improvements made and the plays executed successfully.
9. Don’t let the coach get you down.
Develop a tool for that gives you the ability to hear the coaching and filter out the noise. Coaches have the ability to coach well, but they can often cloud the message with unnecessary chatter and emotion. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the emotion and miss the message..
TIP: Don’t shoot the messenger (the coach). Become your own coach and check in with yourself. Try to understand the coach’s agenda and philosophy. Then execute on only the critical aspects of the message.
10. Self-motivation versus motivation by others.
It’s just the greatest feeling in the world to have others acknowledge you and praise you for your efforts. Getting your name in the paper or receiving an award for your performance success is awesome. I am here to tell you that the most important message or rewards are those you give yourself. Every other accolade is simply the extra icing on the cake. In the end no one but you can really make the difference in your performance because it’s you that is doing the performing..
TIP: Self motivation is the best type of motivation. It’s the intrinsic motivation that is derived from your love of sports. Set goals that are achievable, but challenging. The #1 goal is to have success and feel good about what you have accomplished.
Conclusion: Confidence is the most important factor that influences how we see success and happiness in sports and life. Most athletes gain confidence from practice and success over time. However, you can take a proactive step on your own to boost your confidence and mental toughness by trying some of these tips on yourself. If they work for you who knows how they just might work to help your kids.
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For more information about this article contact or for information on mental game coaching contact John R. Ellsworth – Mental Game Coach at Protex Sports, LLC. www.protexsports.com. You can also send your questions to Ask Coach John.
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By Brian Gotta, President of Upstart Sports

Dear Coach,

Thank you for coaching my team this season. I hope you can pick me again next year, because I had so much fun. I thought I’d tell you some of my favorite things about you being my coach.

I loved how you were always in such a good mood. I had been scared before the first practice. I didn’t know anyone on the team and I’ve had other coaches who always look serious and mean behind their sunglasses. You smiled at every kid and knelt down when you talked to us. You were always making funny jokes, but not ones that made anyone feel bad.

I really liked coming to practice. We all got so much better because of the drills and instruction you gave us. And since you usually divided us into smaller groups we weren’t ever standing around bored that much. My dad said that gave us a lot of “repetitions.”

But what was amazing was even though we were working hard, your practices were so much fun. I guess part of that was because you were always encouraging us and complimenting us on things we did right. I’ve seen other coaches who are constantly yelling about the things their players are doing wrong. I like your way better. And when someone did make a mistake you’d point it out, but not in a mean way. You’d show us how to do it right and ask us to try again. That really helped.

Another reason your practices were fun was that we were always playing games. Everything we did, even when we were just warming up, you’d figure out a way to make it into a competition so that everyone got excited and wanted to do it again when it was over.

I especially liked coming to the games. I know I wasn’t the best player on the team, but you made me feel like I was. I got to play as much as everyone else and there were a couple of games you said I was one of the “MVP’s”. Did we win those games? I can’t remember.

There were a few times I saw other teams’ coaches yelling at the umps, and then all of their parents did too. I don’t remember you ever doing that. And our parents were quiet. I guess we were lucky and all the calls must have gone our way this season.

It was great that we could count on you. If there was ever a day when I was the first kid to the field, you were already there. And even the times when my mom was the last one to come and get me, you still hadn’t left. Did you live there? Just kidding. I know you really didn’t.

So Coach, I really, really want to say thank you for being such a terrific coach. Every game this year I saw how you joked around with kids you’d coached before, even though they were on the other team. If I can’t be on your team next season, I hope you’ll say “hi” to me too. And I hope my next coach is just like you.
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Brian Gotta is a former professional recreational youth baseball coach and volunteer Little League coach and board member. He is President of Help Kids Play, a collection of companies whose mission is to further the development and enjoyment of youth sports.

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